commercials

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i don't own a TV.  primarily because i find TV insulting.

on thanksgiving i watched part of a football game.  it was frequently interrupted by commercials.  most were a variation on the following:

smug man judges you for a few seconds, says,

"you're inadequate.
but you're in luck.  here's a product that can protect you from your ineptitude"






sure, companies sugarcoat their ads, but the basic assumption is that the viewer is an insecure, gullible fool ripe for exploitation.

here are a few templates i saw applied to multiple products.

cleaning products ~  you, dear woman, are the unsung hero of the house, managing several rowdy children and a bungling husband while maintaining equanimity that would impress buddha.  this product is your reward.

sports car / high-end electronics ~  your family is a noisy anchor that you tolerate with good humor.  hats off to you sir.  but sometimes you need to treat yourself.  here's the product for you.

toys / sugary cereal ~  hiiiiiiiiiii kids!  yea!  we don't need to tell you, adults are buffoons!  they don't understand what's really important!  yea!  it's up to you to manipulate them into buying this product!  you can do it!  yea!

cosmetics ~  go look in a mirror.  you are ugly, dirty, undesirable.  but this product, regularly applied, will trick potential mates into thinking you're younger, more fertile, and genetically gifted.

diamonds ~ it's impossible to truly love a woman if you don't buy her diamonds.  impossible.  she knows it and so does everyone else.  when you're ready to make this relationship real, you know where to shop.
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