Saturday, November 27, 2010


i don't own a TV.  primarily because i find TV insulting.

on thanksgiving i watched part of a football game.  it was frequently interrupted by commercials.  most were a variation on the following:

smug man judges you for a few seconds, says,

"you're inadequate.
but you're in luck.  here's a product that can protect you from your ineptitude"

sure, companies sugarcoat their ads, but the basic assumption is that the viewer is an insecure, gullible fool ripe for exploitation.

here are a few templates i saw applied to multiple products.

cleaning products ~  you, dear woman, are the unsung hero of the house, managing several rowdy children and a bungling husband while maintaining equanimity that would impress buddha.  this product is your reward.

sports car / high-end electronics ~  your family is a noisy anchor that you tolerate with good humor.  hats off to you sir.  but sometimes you need to treat yourself.  here's the product for you.

toys / sugary cereal ~  hiiiiiiiiiii kids!  yea!  we don't need to tell you, adults are buffoons!  they don't understand what's really important!  yea!  it's up to you to manipulate them into buying this product!  you can do it!  yea!

cosmetics ~  go look in a mirror.  you are ugly, dirty, undesirable.  but this product, regularly applied, will trick potential mates into thinking you're younger, more fertile, and genetically gifted.

diamonds ~ it's impossible to truly love a woman if you don't buy her diamonds.  impossible.  she knows it and so does everyone else.  when you're ready to make this relationship real, you know where to shop.


Mr Bouchard said...

Hahaha, I personaly love seeing commercials. Not on a regular basis but I do find some of them funny. The way they advertise by trying to make you feel like you do need their product to live well is quite ridiculous!

readingisfun said...

I think most commercials are funny once you are aware of the reasons you listed.

Some commercials use different angles though, like the BK king commercials. Those are so unusual that they are funny. My friends and I like to have a good time and laugh together. Maybe we can create our own good times at BK, you know, like the king does.

Sneaky fast food.